As of today, April 1st, I am down 28.8lbs on Keto. I would probably be down an even 30 lbs but I struggled a bit this week.
I have made many discoveries in this new way of life. I discovered intermittent fasting and I love it. I discovered appetite control, although this is not necessarily a new revelation here. I discovered that I can overcome bad days, stress, and sadness all on my own, without the help of food to pacify. I discovered that sometimes I am a brat when it comes to food and that I actually deal with the food sometimes in the way a child deals with things. All of these discoveries are things that I want to go in-depth with on my blog and explore the complete human psychological element to over-eating.
Above all, I have learned that there is a pattern to my behavior as it pertains to food and I want to get to the bottom of it. I want to “dig deep” as they say because I feel that I am on the cusp of a complete and total breakthrough where food is concerned.
I’m living this keto life and it’s a daily process for me. Partially, it’s about being prepared in the sense that I have some idea of what my daily meals will be. I track everything down daily in My Fitness Pal and I am happy to say that it’s become a comfortable new habit. However, I have also learned that while I can be prepared for each day, this life — losing weight is mostly about being mentally prepared.
The past two weeks have been hard. When the week before was hard, I got through it by pushing down my thoughts and feelings. I felt like I needed to do that in order to get through the week. That is an old habit that I slid back into. I find that when I push things down and I don’t deal with them, they have a tendency to fester and build. Anxiety then rears its ugly head and I start having that fight or flight feeling. The more I try to push it down, the worse it gets. This week, all of the worries and anxieties that I had been pushing down, came to a peak. There was a big explosion of anger and some emotional eating (though I am proud to say that as soon as I realized what I was doing, I changed course).
When the explosion passed, I asked myself why. I kept pushing. Why? Why? Why? Nothing concrete came to mind. I was pushing myself too hard. It was my anxiety pushing me to have an answer. I had an answer but I was so keyed up that I couldn’t find it. Then, I started calling out the anxiety. I started communicating my feelings, thoughts, and worries. It was like I pushed a pressure valve on my brain because once I started to talk about it and to “call it out”, I was able to calm down. The answers that I had been trying so hard to get, finally made sense to me.
Like I said, I have been making a lot of discoveries on this journey and I am simply amazed at all I am discovering! I’m taking the time to understand the root cause of emotional eating. I think back to how it was so easy for me to go through life mindless. Except that it wasn’t easy. I only thought that it was.