How do you know when your hunger is “real”?
I’m having a hard time determining that lately. My son is continuing to go through some things at school and it’s driven me to emotional drain and constant worry. As a result, I find that I am *always* hungry.
The whole — wait 20 minutes and it will go away thing does not work for me. Because the hunger is always gnawing at me. Trying to claw it’s way into pushing me for inevitable submission.
Like right now… for instance. I just ate my Atkins bar and should by all means feel satisfied. My stomach feels like a bottomless pit of hunger. Not even kidding here. I’m trying my best to ignore it, tune it out and do something else. So here I am writing about it.
Let’s see… maybe if I digest my feelings about the situation, I will not feel hunger anymore?
My son is being bullied at school (by very smart bullies). I would love to say that I am extremely logical about this situation with a “woman on top” attitude. But it’s hard to separate your emotions from a situation when it involves your kids and even more when your kids are being hurt. I go into momma bear mode faster than a knife fight in a phone booth.
So, here I am feeling pissed off and hungry and angsty. The anger, the angst and the hunger make me feel weak. Like forbidden emotions that i’m not allowed to have and certainly not allowed to wallow in. Really now… who wants to wallow in those emotions? Isn’t it easier to just get over it?
Maybe the problem is that I don’t allow myself to feel and deal. Maybe I just shove the emotes down and bury them under a pile of food.